If You Are Saying YES to This, Then What Are You Saying NO to?

Cleelia Uudam Costa
3 min readJun 6, 2022
Photo by Drahomír Posteby-Mach on Unsplash

Life does not just happen to you. Life tends to respond to you. And definitely, life is nearly always about your own choices. You are all the time choosing something.

You are choosing even when you are not choosing. Yes, you read that well, not choosing is a choice too.

Your time is limited.
Your energy is limited.
Your headspace is limited.
Your attention span is limited.

When I say limited, I do not mean that you are lacking these resources, not at all, rather the opposite. We all have all of it as much as humanly possible. Now what I mean is that you have to carefully choose how you use each one of these natural resources of yours.

Filling your space with “some things” means that there is no space for “other things”. There is simply no space for all — but there is space for a choice.

Most of the time, you can choose to what to say “yes” and to what to say “no” in your life. You can intentionally create your life.

Photo by Drahomír Posteby-Mach on Unsplash

Of course there are things that happen in your life without you choosing them. Despite that you can still choose your own actions and reactions. If you have lived your life intentionally, choosing consistently the right things for you, you are most likely more than equipped to go through any unexpected circumstances.

How Do You Know How to Make the Right Choices?

Usually you just know. You know deep down, you know in your heart. Yet it is not always easy to follow that “knowing”. It is much easier to get distracted by searching for some instant gratification, by expectations of others, by your own fears and beliefs.

The first step is to stay still and listen to yourself. What is your vision about life well lived and about yourself. What are your values and what are your dreams. Having this clarity works like a compass for your choices. Whenever in doubt you simply have to think how does each choice fit into your bigger picture. Is it actually supporting your dreams?

Following your “compass” might be challenging. You might have to program yourself for doing the hard things first, for giving up the short-term pleasure for long-term gain, for getting curious about any hesitation popping up. Yet if you do manage to do so, you are on the path to self-mastery!

What is that one thing, you know deep down, you should choose to start saying “yes” to more often?

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Cleelia Uudam Costa

Writing to inspire and empower women. Transformational Life & Business Coach. Entrepreneur. PhD. Mom of 4. Estonian in Portugal www.cleeliauudamcosta.com