How Do You Usually Calm Your Monkey-Mind?
Adding the constant news flow about heart-breaking events in Ukraine to our increasing addiction to instant gratification and decreasing capacity to focus is as if providing an unlimited access of bananas to the monkeys. Similarly to monkeys, who start facing problems of diabetes and tooth cay when overdosing with bananas, also we get in all sorts of trouble when not looking after the wellbeing of our mind.
What Is Monkey-Mind?
The buddhist term “monkey-mind” refers to restlessness, confusion, indecisiveness. Monkey-mind, the constant chatter of one’s mind should not be a stranger to anyone. We all experience at times complete lack of focus, our mind races back and forth, our thoughts jump from “branch to branch” like little monkeys. Monkey-mind loves worse-case scenarios and re-visiting them. Monkey-mind acts also like a critic, questioning if we can get things right and preventing us from taking brave steps forward. And of course, we are naturally super good at feeding these monkeys with more stuff!
Monkey-mind sounds like fun, only that it is terrible for our health and wellbeing. Re-running all kinds of nonsense in our head makes sure we maintain great stress levels, experience anxiety and increase in blood pressure. It impacts our sleep — the quantity and the quality.
I personally have become quite good friends with my monkey! My monkey loves to dream, to imagine scenarios, to overthink and dwell in possibilities. It is always hungry for more information and loves to get a deeper understanding of detailed matters that are suddenly so interesting, but far from being relevant for my well-being. Well, “practice makes the master” as they say! Of course I still do keep regularly feeding my monkey (there is excess of bananas in my head.. ), but I have become quite fast at catching it in the act. Increased self-awareness, daily mindfulness and (not as regular as I wish) meditation have been a great help for me.
I love the highway metaphor: Imagine yourself by the highway with cars passing by — you can do the same with your mind and thoughts — you can sit and observe them passing by. I also love the Headspace animation regarding the sky: However cloudy is the sky, there is always blue clean sky above these clouds. The same goes with our thoughts and our mind — the thoughts are like the clouds, come and go, while some calm neutral natural state of mind exists outside of these thoughts.
How Can You Calm Your Monkey ?
Self-awareness is the key piece of this puzzle. You have to become aware of your monkey to be able to calm it. You have to gain understanding about how your mind works. Once you understand the power of your mind you can use it more consciously in your favour — helping you to achieve your goals and live a happy life.
So what can be done to calm that monkey mind of yours?
- Daily mindfulness
Mindfulness has been the word of fashion quite some time now. If you have not yet mastered it, then maybe it is worth some consideration. Mindfulness is all about staying in the present moment — it is about focusing on what you are currently doing, noticing your surroundings with all senses, allowing yourself to feel without judgement. And when you do that, focus consciously in the present moment, you are “cutting the fuel” from the fire of thoughts in your head.
It is easy to incorporate some simple mindfulness exercises into your daily habits. For example, taking time to sit with your morning coffee — smelling it and savouring the flavour. Really focusing on the sounds around you — either it is busy traffic or wild ocean waves. Stopping to look at something, noticing the details. Focusing on your breath or on how your body feels is another great opportunity for mindfulness. So basically whatever you do in the present moment with your full focus and presence will help you to create a little moment of calm without worries about your past and your future.
2. Meditating
The word “meditation” can sound big and scary and unattainable. But it does not have to be that way. Meditation has been used for thousands of years to develop awareness of a present moment. Meditation is simply one of the ways to practice mindfulness. While mindfulness can be practiced in any moment, meditation is about aiming to keep your focus in the preset moment for a longer time. And simple practice works wonders! You can start by focusing on your breath or find some simple guided meditation (Headspace is my favourite!).
3. Journaling
“Putting it all out” on a paper is a powerful tool when it comes to calming and decluttering your mind. Either you clean your mind by doing a “brain dump” - writing a list of to-dos, worries, thoughts - or have a more free-style writing practice all this is an opportunity to relieve a bit of the tension and stress. Analysing your written thoughts is not only a great way to notice patterns and your limiting beliefs, but it is a solid base for organising and reframing your thoughts in a way they can support you on your journey.
4. Distracting your mind
Whenever you are obsessed with some situation or circumstance and cannot get it out of your head, distracting your mind can do wonders. Seek ways to engage your mind actively with something else in order to reduce intensity, to get inspired and to change your perspective (e.g. read a book, listen to a podcast, talk to a friend). Changing your perspective will help you to connect with your natural resourcefulness.
5. Exercise
Having some regular routine to move your body is one of the best ways to keep the monkeys in order. And even if you do not have a regular routine, if you do feel your mind as a hot potato, just get up and go do some physical activity. It almost works like SOS measure. Stretching yourself on a yoga mat (btw your living room carpet works well too) or going for a little outdoor walk will immediately make you feel better.
All these little routines will help you to become more self-aware. You will learn to stop and to observe your own mind. You will learn to question your thoughts and change their direction.
Is this thought true (a fact)?
Do I really believe in this?
Why is this upsetting me?
Is this how I want to feel throughout my day?
Once you master your thoughts you will not only be able to reduce the constant unhelpful chatter of your mind, but you will be able to stop it the very moment you become aware of it. You will be able to substitute the thoughts that do not serve you with something nurturing and empowering instead.
What about you, how is your relationship going with that monkey-mind of yours?
